Taxi Driver Online

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http://wingsoverscotland.com/ http://www.newsnetscotland.com/

Cammo jilted and replaced by a French hussy before you can say, "it's my party and I'll cry if I want to".

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http://wingsoverscotland.com/ http://www.newsnetscotland.com/

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http://wingsoverscotland.com/ http://www.newsnetscotland.com/

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

Made I smile.


http://link.digg.com/525d91291ccdf376da ... YDa1LA7ec2

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if you cannot be yourself, then who can you be.

I nearly fell off my chair

http://youtu.be/a7APmG5qN5A

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

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http://wingsoverscotland.com/ http://www.newsnetscotland.com/

love it!

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taxi!

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht order the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin

A London Banker parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues.

As he's getting out of the car, a truck comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before zooming off. More than a little distraught, the London Banker grabs his mobile and calls the police.

Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the policeman has a chance to ask any... questions, the man starts screaming hysterically: 'My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter how long it's at the panel beaters it'll simply never be the same again!'

After the man finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust. 'I can't believe how materialistic you bloody London Bankers are,' he says. 'You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life.'

'How can you say such a thing at a time like this?' sobs the Porsche owner.

The policeman replies, 'Didn't you realise that your right arm was torn off when the truck hit you.

The London Banker looks down in horror. "F***ING Hell" he screams...............'Where's my Rolex???...

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if you cannot be yourself, then who can you be.

Man walks into a butchers and points to some meat on a tall shelf,"bet you £5000 you cant jump up and get that meat"he say.The butcher replies,"im not taking your bet sir,the steaks are too high,

When my wife had her appendix out she was left with rather an unsightly scar. She's saying she'll never wear a bikini again.

And that, Dr. Wilson, is why I've bought you this magnum of champagne

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(bit late this one )

The Women's national football team are through to the semi's of the world cup!

Which is ironic, as I lost my semi just watching it
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So "Britain's fattest man" has died recently at the age of 33.

Or, as he's known in America, "Slim Carl"

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I don't know why we bother sending £2 a month to get water to Africans?

A one-off 5 quid gets a cheapo tap from B & Q and mine works perfectly alright
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So Charles Kennedy had a huge alcohol problem.
That's one politician who was in touch with the working class and homeless
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advert .in shop window reads "bacon sandwiches £2, hand jobs £5, bloke slinks up to the good looking blonde behind the counter & whispers " are you the one that gives the hand jobs then ?", she replies in a sexy voice, " yes that's me " , bloke says , " well wash ya hands love, i want a bacon sandwich

officially old i remember all these
https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=40&v=j-KDZDNnR9A

"Tits man or arse man?" I was asked.

I really should have got in there earlier when they were giving out super hero names.