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The usual spots are often packed out, especially during the morning peak - i.e. BP Hatton Cross, Esso Southern Perimeter Road (as mentioned), Texaco Bath Road, McDonalds Bath Road (Mondial Way).
The little known spots are almost just as close and are often quieter - the KFC/Starbucks, also on the Bath Road, further east - though you can only enter the car park from the west. Harlington Playing Fields car park has its' own cafe and toilet, down Sipson Lane. There's also another McDonalds, further west along the A4, next to a Shell but that can also be busy. You can park on street up to 8am/9am (not sure, check signs), and go into the Premier Inn, where there is a Costa Coffee inside. Another Shell on the junction of Holloway Lane/Harmondsworth Road. The Three Magpies pub, just above the tunnel road, has a large car park behind, where you could park.
Going slightly further afield, there's a massive Tesco in Town Lane, Stanwell, next to Ashford Hospital, another Tesco in Faggs Road, Feltham just beyond Hatton Cross, another one already mentioned in Hayes. There's also another Esso at Clockhouse Roundabout on the A30/A315, south to the airport which is often quiet.
Out of all of them, I would choose the car park at Harlington Playing Fields (UB3 5EU). Take a book to read, and there's often police dogs doing their training on the playing fields and radio controlled airplane enthusiasts to watch, as well as the cafe. No point burning fuel travelling too far only to come back again, and there's also a greater risk of being held up in traffic especially if you use the M4 to somewhere further. Just 2 miles/10min from Terminal 3. You're also safe from people disturbing you if you're having a snooze. Whenever I park by Bath Road, there are often beggars around tapping on your window asking for change (they know drivers carry cash), people offering to sell perfume/DVDs.
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