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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 5:37 pm 
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Location: Braintree, Essex.
Seeing my ex for the first time in months left me with just one thought. I wish the neighbour's dog would stop digging up my garden.


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 5:38 pm 
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Paddy " I've been shaging these two twins" Mick " Really how do you tell them apart?" Paddy " Easy Julie's got blond hair and Derek's got a mustache"


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 5:40 pm 
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Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies "Yes I do!" and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?" The guy replies "Oh I have a personal genie." The first man asks "Can I make a wish? " Sure says the other man "Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing" "Ok I will" says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants The man says " I want a Million Pounds" The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million hounds turn up. And the guy says to the other " Your genie realy sucks at hearing doesnt he?" The other man replies "I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC"


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 5:44 pm 
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I was being interrogated by a female police officer. "So, how many rapes have you committed?" "Eight or nine." "Which is it?" "Depends on how long it takes for your backup to arrive."


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 8:45 pm 
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Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
Nidge2 wrote:
Paddy " I've been shaging these two twins" Mick " Really how do you tell them apart?" Paddy " Easy Julie's got blond hair and Derek's got a mustache"



saw that one the other day on another forum

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lack of modern legislation is the iceberg sinking the titanic of the transport sector


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:47 pm 
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edders23 wrote:
Nidge2 wrote:
Paddy " I've been shaging these two twins" Mick " Really how do you tell them apart?" Paddy " Easy Julie's got blond hair and Derek's got a mustache"



saw that one the other day on another forum


What about the other two people? Surely "two twins" = 4 people :roll:

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:08 pm 
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Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
cabby john wrote:
edders23 wrote:
Nidge2 wrote:
Paddy " I've been shaging these two twins" Mick " Really how do you tell them apart?" Paddy " Easy Julie's got blond hair and Derek's got a mustache"



saw that one the other day on another forum


What about the other two people? Surely "two twins" = 4 people :roll:


trust a welshman to not get a joke :lol:

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lack of modern legislation is the iceberg sinking the titanic of the transport sector


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:33 pm 
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cabby john wrote:
edders23 wrote:
Nidge2 wrote:
Paddy " I've been shaging these two twins" Mick " Really how do you tell them apart?" Paddy " Easy Julie's got blond hair and Derek's got a mustache"



saw that one the other day on another forum


What about the other two people? Surely "two twins" = 4 people :roll:


Quote:
trust a welshman to not get a joke :lol:


I just thought..........that's funny, I wonder what the other two are up to :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 7:38 pm 
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edders23 wrote:
Nidge2 wrote:
Paddy " I've been shaging these two twins" Mick " Really how do you tell them apart?" Paddy " Easy Julie's got blond hair and Derek's got a mustache"



saw that one the other day on another forum


fooking hell :lol: every joke on this page has been seen before man , lighten up ya stuffy clunt :roll:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 7:39 pm 
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walked past a homeless guy earlier and threw 50p into his cup.. he shouted after me "thanks a lot you clunt, you just fooked my coffee"


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 7:42 pm 
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My disabled son wants to do a parachute jump for charity. Thick clunt , you think he would have learned his lesson after the last time.


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 7:43 pm 
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My porn star friend recently passed away. As a mark of respect we scattered his ashes over his wife's face :lol: :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 7:47 pm 
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I said to my son, "Where are you going?" He said, "I'm off to meet a girl." I said, "Don't forget to wear a... you know." He said, "What?" I said, "You know." He said, "Do you mean a condom?" I said, "No, a fucking hat, you ginger cunt." :lol: :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 7:50 pm 
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With all the sex I'm having lately, the weight's just dropping off me. I've had to buy a smaller balaclava.


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 7:53 pm 
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I often wish my wife would use her hands a little bit more during sex. She wouldn't get so many carpet burns on her face.


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