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Chatting to taxi drivers Apr 15 2006
Paul Rowland, Western Mail
FEW places in the world offer you quite the level of freedom as you're afforded in the back of a cab. That might seem a strange thing to say about a place where you're hemmed in on all sides by glass and can't leave without paying through the nose, but that's not the point. The back of a taxi lets you be whoever you want.
Let me explain. There's a stereotype of cab drivers which says that, to a man, they've got extreme, frequently far-right views, and they're not afraid to speak their minds. The former is occasionally true, but it doesn't really matter, because it's the latter point that's all-important.
Taxi drivers pretty much talk to people for a living, so striking up a conversation with you holds no fears. They know they can say more or less anything to you, because they'll probably never see you again, and so whatever they come out with will be better than sitting in silence for the entire journey. Once you come round to this way of thinking, the whole process becomes more enjoyable.
Feel free to make stuff up. It doesn't matter. It's actually quite a challenge. Lie about everything. Be forthcoming with every question you're asked, although be sure to keep your opinions in a similar vein to your driver's. Nothing kills banter quicker than a disagreement.
Once you relax, it can be extremely liberating to be utterly vehement and forthright about a point you entirely disagree with. I once spent a 15-minute journey home to my house near Aberystwyth advocating the abolition of the UK's police forces in favour of a series of private security firms manned by hard-nosed squad of retrained club bouncers. I was on the way back from a night on the tiles, but strangely my ideas were only slightly more radical than those of my (presumably sober) driver.
Story continues
It's sometimes good to stick to a real story for inspiration, but elaborate colourfully at every opportunity.
The chances are that even the most well-practised of your anecdotes are unspeakably tedious. So liven them up with exotic settings, exaggerated sums of money, closer shaves and faster speeds. Your driver will thank you for it. Rather entertaining than true.
You're not trying to humiliate your driver, or make a mockery of him. What you're doing is making a potentially drab journey into a more entertaining one. Taxi drivers must hear no end of interminably tedious stories, so do both of you a favour and liven things up. There's no obligation that anything should be fact - the sole purpose is to pass the time. So have a laugh with it.
My other favourite thing about it is the wonderfully tilted views on life that you get. Just this week I was in a cab and we got onto the subject of how quickly time passes.
"Yes!" exclaimed the man at the wheel. "It's not like when you're a kid. You want it to go fast, so it goes slow. You want it to go fast so you can get older and shave. But then you get older, and all you do is shave. Shave, shave, shave. It's hard work! Every day. You take half your skin off."
Top 10 conversation starters with taxi drivers
1. Busy tonight mate?
2. What time do you knock off?
3. Is this your own cab?
4. Are the students back yet?
5. What time did you come out?
6. How long have you lived in this city?
7. Ever had anyone famous in your cab?
8. Do you work Christmas Day?
9. What's been your longest trip? Did you get the fare up front?
10. How long have you been a taxi driver?
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