Taxi Driver Online

A couple of weeks ago, I was plying for hire, as they say, on Lincoln station when a member of the station staff assisted a wheelchair bound passenger out to my TAXI. The passenger was (is) called Eddie, I found out. Looked a bit like a member of the "Levellers" and was even smoking a joint! He ditched the joint, I did a risk assessment, and loaded and secured him in my lovely wheelchair accessible metrocab. Eddie has cerebral palsy, a condition that gives the sufferer the impression that they are a gibbering idiot, but the real cruelty of the condition is that though a casual observer may think that to be so, nothing could be further from the truth. Eddie is of sound mind, and quite a dude into the bargain.

Anyway, to get back to the story. Eddie had some instructions written down for me, with the address he wanted to travel to, about five or six miles out of town. I just assumed him to be an independent minded disabled guy wanting to go home, or visit friends, he had a case with him, so I thought he'd been away. Good for you mate, don't let your disabilities get in the way, any more than they have too.

When I found the address we were looking for, in the middle of nowhere, the place looked deserted. So I decided to go and knock before unloading Eddie.I asked him if he'd been before, and he told me "No" I knocked on the door and got no reply, and went to take a look around the back, but the place looked deserted. "Bo**ocks" thought I. After about five minutes of this, I asked Eddie if the people knew he was coming. "Huuugh" he replied, in a Scooby Doo kind of way. "Great" thought I.

After another five minutes, I heard movement in the house, and a lady of about sixty, black as coal, (not racist me, just describing what I saw) opened the door slightly, and said, "what you want" I replied, " got a visitor for you" she said " I not expecting no one" and went to close the door. "Hey hold on a minute" I said, " this is number 7?" she said "Yes" "are you Alison?" "Yes" "Well I've brought Eddie to visit you" "I don't know no Eddie, take him away, get off my property" Door slams shut. "Marvellous" I think.

I went back to Eddie, and told him the news. "Huuugh? he says.

What to do.

I clearly could not leave him there, so I decided to take him back into town. I phoned the wife, who works for Social Services, who advised me to take him to the Police Station, because they would be able to get help for Eddie quicker than my alerting Social Services. So I did.

Got to the Police Station, and after relating the story twice to people who didn't need to know finally got a constable on the case. But whilst waiting for the officer to come out of "ryvita house" I found out from Eddie that he'd travelled to Lincoln from Norwich. That he'd met "Alison" on the internet, and that he'd decided to move in with her! He was expecting Kylie Minogue, and she was expecting Brad Pitt.Neither got what they were looking for. It just goes to show, you can be whoever you want to be on the internet, but your lies will find you out.

This 100% true story did have a happy ending, for me at least. I got to take Eddie home to Norwich after his big adventure.

It just goes to show I suppose, that you cannot even take people at face value on the web, with stories of the wrong sort of men grooming young girls on the web, we all have to be very careful indeed. People on here claiming to be taxi drivers, may be just fulfilling their fantasies, who knows?

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Former taxi driver

But did he pay?

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IDFIMH

Pretend taxi drivers?

whatever next

CC

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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin

In advance.

In Cash.

In crisp twenties.

In front of a police officer.

I told you it had a happy ending, for me.

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Former taxi driver

AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT - CONGRESSIONAL ACT 2006

WASHINGTON , DC (AP) - Congress is considering sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing."

The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability.

Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%) The DMV also has a great record of hiring Persons of Inability. (63%)

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?"

"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable job skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Senator Ted Kennedy, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and also find a place for all illegal aliens no matter how useless they may be."

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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin