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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Jun 15, 2019 7:42 pm 
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Just heard that ex-Manchester United striker Danny Welbeck's grandad was a bomb disposal expert in World War II.

Stan Welbeck

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2019 2:38 pm 
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Do all fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time?"

No, many begin with "If I am elected, I promise...."

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2019 12:40 pm 
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Sad news from the Nestle factory today. A night shift worker was crushed beneath a case of chocolate that fell 20 feet off the storage racking. He called for help repeatedly but every time he shouted "The Milky Bars are on me" his colleagues just cheered.

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2019 12:41 pm 
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edders23 wrote:
Do all fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time?"

No, many begin with "If I am elected, I promise...."



then theres

"the cheques in the post" and..

"i wont cum in your mouth"

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2019 12:23 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2019 12:25 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2019 2:16 pm 
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wannabeeahack wrote:
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ah so that's what your missus looks like :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2019 10:26 pm 
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edders23 wrote:

ah so that's what your missus looks like :lol:



She models herself on yours

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 11:13 am 
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breaking news.................It has just been announced that M & S are to merge with poundstretchers

the new company will be called ...........Stretchmarks

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 11:14 am 
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wannabeeahack wrote:
edders23 wrote:

ah so that's what your missus looks like :lol:



She models herself on yours


that might be a bit difficult

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 6:14 pm 
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We’ve just acquired a new dog. We got him from a blacksmith, he was only in the house 2 mins and he made a bolt for the door!


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Fri Aug 16, 2019 11:16 am 
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My Mate got a 2nd place at a Fancy Dress contest dressed as Winston Churchill.

Close, but no Cigar.

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2019 5:37 pm 
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I say, I say, I say

I wont say I drive slow but i have to scrape flies off my rear window...

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2019 9:39 pm 
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After hearing the dreadful joke from the Edinburgh fringe taking the mickey out of Tourette’s sufferers, I thought I’d call the Tourette’s society up and offer my services as a volunteer,,,,,,, they told me to “f##k o##”


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